Asking your to-be spouse for a prenup is definitely not the most romantic thing to do. However, the question might have to be asked at some point in the relationship. Prenups are not something only the super rich do anymore. Even normal people enter marriages with prenups ready in order to protect the financial interests of both parties. The night before the wedding is definitely not the time to ask for a prenup either. Also, if you wait until the last moment and your spouse signs the papers teary eyed on the wedding day, the prenup might not stand up in court later if the occasion ever comes. Here are several suggestions for properly asking your fiancée or partner for a prenup:
Ask Early
As mentioned earlier, do not wait until the last moment to ask your partner to sign a prenup. The issue of the prenup should be brought up early in the relationship. Don’t demand that the other person sign a prenup; just mention that if you were ever to get married, it would be with a prenup. It should give the other person plenty of time to come around to the idea or leave if desired.
Talk to a Lawyer First
Before you ask your partner for a prenup, you might want to talk to a lawyer about it first. You will have to talk to lawyers who specialize in marriage laws, otherwise known as divorce lawyers. Find a local lawyer in your area, like a Scottsdale divorce attorney. Then discuss your financial situation and why you think you need a prenup. The lawyer would advise you on how to best draft it. If your partner agrees to a prenup, he or she would need a lawyer as well. At this point, be a gentleman and pay for your partner’s lawyer too.
Break It Gently
Obviously, don’t rush into the topic of prenup. Be as gentle as possible when you break it to your partner. Don’t be demanding or sound as if you don’t trust your partner. And don’t expect your partner to be very nice about it either. He or she might be offended or angry. They might think you don’t trust them to be financially responsible. But be kind and explain that you don’t want either of you to be financially exploited.
Don’t Cop Out
Don’t make up weird excuses as to why you want a prenup. Don’t say it’s because your mother or father is making you do it. Own up to your desire to have a prenup and be honest. If you try to pin it on the parents or something else, your fiancée will spot it right away. That will make the situation even worse.
Don’t Include Behavioral Clauses in the Prenup
When you present the prenup documents to your fiancée, it should only have financial conditions, not behavioral conditions. You two are not celebrities, so don’t make your fiancée pay a million if he or she supposedly cheats on you later. They will never sign it if behavioral clauses are included.
Asking for a prenup is not easy on any loving couple. So take advise from the above suggestions to avoid getting into a big fight.